I feel like there's little ants crawling all over me..

I hate that feeling! I feel like there's bugs crawling all over my body but there isn't. It's weird. Irritating.

Anyway!

I have three big tests this week & I have no idea why nothing is sticking.

I wish I could cut out my notes and krazy glue them in my head.

You know what I miss? Taking pictures. Not of me, but of things. Of everyday, mundane, random things.

So, I've been out of my shell lately. Thought I came back but was wrong. Royal mess I like to say.

I haven't had a proud moment as of late. But, I'll get around somehow.

Ok. back to studying for pharmacology.

My future daughter is not going to be a nurse.

Green is the color of the day.

I haven't wrote in a while.

I have a lot on my mind.

I've been on an unofficial hiatus. I have feelings that I've tucked away or just haven't expressed.

I think my attempts to stray from pessimistic blues included words that show...

Ugh. I'm not making sense.

I want to cry.

I want a job?

I want to not get kicked out of the nursing program.

I wish I was born something else.

I want music. I need music. I want to feel good. . .

I want to not want love. I don't want to need someone. But deep down I do.

When it comes down to being home alone on a Friday night, I want that comfort.

I want that someone to call just to tell him I painted my nails a new color today.

I wasn't born to be alone. I'm not very good at it...I mean I know how to be alone. I like alone time. But I like together time too but to have together time...there needs to be two.

What is my problem?

I have a lot of problems that need to be fixed. Like the fact that I procrastinate till the last second.

I don't know where my money goes.

Not to ciggarettes, not at least for the past 5 days.

I crack under pressure.

I'm a bad friend & daughter. :(

"Please Don't Go...

I'll eat you up...I love you so."

I LOVED THIS MOVIE.

Where the Wild Things Are.

New favorite...my kind of healthy dose of nostalgic.

I felt like running around in the forest, screaming. Good shit.

Sunday Picks

Okay, this is in reverse order. This Sunday was nice. I went to church (finally), then went to Starbucks and studied some, came home and cleaned, then played some TENNIS with my friend Ben. It was awesome. I learned to do spins, and to do a spin serve. I'm about to shower, then eat, and then the down part of today...organize receipts and count where the hell my money went, and still needs to go. Oh paper, paper. 

sunflower

  Sunflowers make me happy. 

  So does talking to a good old friend. Thank You. 

  It's always better than good to hear from you. 

  Malasian, Indian, Thai fusion cuisine with good company has also made this night   significantly past mediocre and mundane :) 

 "you shouldn't let the little things upset you. but some little things are worth smiling about."

I need to quit

    This is so tempting. Wanting you. 

    Wanting more.

I really do, need to quit. The thing is, it is the easiest fix. It's the routine that eases me, just a little. It's comforting. But, I really should quit, for the long run. I need to be healthy again. 

This road to self recovery is frustrating. I hate this feeling of inadequacy. 

What a beautiful mess this is...

Still on my way to getting things to where they need to be at: okay. 

Moved out and things are settling, slowly but surely. 

Nursing classes already on full steam, and I'm already trying to play catch up. 

It's okay, I'll get there. 

Drama with fam but we'll get past it. In the process. . . 

I miss my family back home but I'm very thankful for what's here in my life right now. 

I haven't been to church in two weeks :(

I threw away facebook, we'll see how long this lasts. 

Aside from all this, there's got to be some silver lining. 

Oh, I'm trying to quit smoking. I miserably failed my first day. I bought a new pack, at least I'm sharing it with my brother.

I'm going to start working out again...and drink lots of water. Hopefully I'll be healthy again in no time. 

That's all for thoughts today, going to call it a night. 

Night.