So the meaning of this song I believe is about a stripper? The whole her story of getting on her own by this means. She's stuck though and the ones she gets brings her closer to getting out.
I definitely don't relate literally, but in maybe odd but not so odd, sense.
The dirty truth is my dirty summer. (I don't regret it though, things happen for a reason).
I went to Japan heartbroken and vacant. Instrument to fix? Alcohol and good company.
I submerged myself susceptible to easy comfort. The release of inhibitions allowed my vacant self to be relieved by accessible physical means. This went on well most of summer.
I allowed myself to believe I was fully healed.
Wrong.
You can always be over someone...but I didn't allow the scab to fully heal. Instead I peeled it off each time, reversing the process, keeping me in square one.
Relation of song: I settled for the physical thinking it was easy steps to get me out. Only to realize, they kept me in.
Relief to say I'm past all that nonsense. I migrated to the next step; meeting one. Talking to one.
But now I've realized that's not what I need right now. As good as it feels. As clean and innocent as the situation is, I cannot allow myself to need, to want. I need to completely stray from this road. No yield signs. Just bright red, stop. Yellow caution for construction.
I need to set myself up, on my own (of course not completely, with the help of family & friends).
Not to be socially absent. I just need to, settle for friends, right now.
This is one time I'll need to be a little selfish. To fully focus on what I want in life. Yes, love is there somewhere, I'm not bitter, I just can't be that vulnerable.
Strong walls don't take just months.
Ever since I started college I was either dating or talking to someone. I really can't have that now. It is tempting though, and I probably won't be perfect at this, but at least I got it down somewhere what I need to start doing.
"We all got dreams & we all start reaching."
No more crutches.
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